The smelly stuff that ends up on our shoes, wheelchairs and buggies comes from the estimated 6.8 million dogs sniffing around Britain today. They unload a staggering 900 tonnes of the stuff in our parks, on our streets etc. every day. Our own Clissold Park positively hums on a summer's day. If you want it different, you've come to the right place.

DON'T BLAME ME!